[0.0s] previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[30.5s] Black-Rotten Guts maybe are probably starting to fall out.
[34.6s] Causes this dragon to recoil.
[36.6s] It pulls its neck and head back out and up street level.
[41.9s] You hear coming in behind it first this like droning, humming.
[50.2s] A hail of rock hard ice pounds to the ground at a 20-foot radius,
[54.9s] and I make it specifically on this zombie clot.
[57.6s] and you hear a blade cut hard into the dragon and the head droops for a second
[66.8s] and then falls down into the cavern and dropping down carrying a double bladed
[75.6s] glowing sword with like flame coming from her nostrils is this copper and bronze
[85.2s] and gold and platinum dragonborn who's quickly followed down by a halfling and half orc
[103.0s] welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons i'm your dungeon master rust more he him also with me today is
[109.2s] tom lair he him and tonight i am playing two characters playing uh telgir heavyfoot who is a
[119.4s] mountain dwarf pAlydin who also goes by he him and i'm also playing moot who is a half orc wild
[126.6s] magic sorcerer and maybe something else we'll get into that later excellent and also with us
[132.3s] tonight is carla max dead i like the tease she her i am playing Yenbul nuri a kalishtar cleric
[141.0s] also she her and glim a dragonborn pAlydin slash maybe something else this is what we're doing
[149.2s] secrets tom established also also she her tom established what we're doing so we gotta stick
[155.5s] to it all right right and Amy More yes i'm here too and i will also be playing two characters
[163.2s] thea amastasia a high elf druid she her and sullivan's light a lightfoot halfling rogue
[174.4s] all the way baby no secrets here sully's all on the table ironic usually sully's the one with
[181.6s] yes the rogue's got no secrets he's an open book ten years into the darkest timeline
[186.3s] you probably don't have a lot of secrets anyways hey it's our hundredth episode today
[190.1s] of season two what excuse me of season two of season two yeah we've done well over 200
[195.2s] episodes but of season two we've finally crossed the streams happy birthday happy birthday
[206.4s] let's just sit in that moment for a little while all right feels good
[211.1s] here celebrating instead of diving into the darkest time yeah i know we just want to
[215.5s] just want to feel good about it strap in for 47 minutes of patting ourselves on the back here
[220.5s] all right that's pretty much amazing it's really been a joy just recording with you
[225.8s] these past hundred episodes plus absolutely plus all that bonus content plus all that
[230.5s] bonus content where you can find that bonus content is over on Patreon Patreon.com
[235.4s] slash dumb dragon cast keep going oh okay and if you are a patron with us you get an episode
[243.2s] dedicated to you like today's patron lacy linn thanks lacy linn i love the alliteration
[253.2s] i know it's fun to say always fun to say yeah your 100th episode that's very special
[259.2s] i think so after like the sex one and the drugs one though so that's probably the best
[263.2s] one to be absolutely it's right up there with sex drugs and 100th episode that's how the song
[268.8s] goes yeah there might be some rock and roll in this we'll have to wait and see but now
[273.5s] you go to Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast and join us over there we'd love it don't back
[278.7s] your chair oh okay he's finally laid down uh now that the dog has relaxed itself fuck it let's
[284.8s] play
[291.1s] this is the new theme music for it i don't like what you're doing with your hands for the cross
[295.8s] it's why do you always comment on my hand only i'm the one who has to see them it's like
[301.6s] sandstorm over here most of the time they're like at the very bottom of the screen so we
[306.1s] only ever see like the tips of your fingers it's true it's like little flames at the bottom
[311.6s] it's better than when you're like going to roll dice but you're talking and talking and talking
[316.3s] it just looks like you're jerking off underneath the camera it's my it's my secret pleasure
[322.4s] looking over watching you going well you look like a jackass right now
[328.0s] see all the truth comes out in the 100th episode it really does yeah okay
[332.4s] hmm fuck it let's play fuck it let's play fuck it let's play carla do you want to it's it's the
[338.6s] 100th episode fuck it let's play now all together three two one fuck it let's play
[345.6s] hey
[353.2s] a hollow wind howls across the plains as moot glim and sully see in the dull purple aura of what's
[365.7s] left of the moon castle orcas ahead of them it's about fucking time yeah this was a hard one
[374.7s] i can't believe we actually found it but we did it so great two thumbs up
[382.0s] well like one thumb up anyway oh god i'm sorry oh my that's real insensitive i'm so sorry it's like
[389.1s] i try not to say it and then i just say it and it's i'm so sorry mood i mean it's been a long
[394.4s] time since i was down to the one thumb but like i got that cool crab claw now just full
[399.1s] time for the other one so uh-huh yeah that's real cool it's pretty good trade-off a good
[403.4s] trade-off i mean considering the option could have been just no hand at all oh come on there
[409.1s] was always hook uh there was always sword for hand there was always i feel like mace for hand
[416.7s] okay mace for hand would have been really cool i feel like hook not as good crab claw pretty
[421.9s] good it's got a bit of the hook ideal to it i can pinch things with it yeah you gotta stop
[428.6s] that that's just it's never the time nor the place i'm sure there will be a time and a place
[434.1s] where it is the exact thing we need at that moment glim in your bag you've been carrying
[442.0s] a book for years now that has remained quiet your bag begins to
[455.9s] vibrate something you haven't felt since before orcas took over
[463.8s] oh my oh my what what is that so embarrassing what's in there oh my goodness
[473.9s] oh and i pull out the book is that what i think it is it is it's been
[481.9s] oh my god years we pull out the tome of bahamut and crack it open to the last page that had
[493.2s] any writing on it then you see before you a new entry illuminating before your eyes
[502.3s] yes guys oh my what what is happening this is unbelievable so you got you got a destiny again
[514.1s] what's what i don't know let's see let's see what it says three words appear all it says
[522.1s] is get back now books all bossy there glim i feel like it's pretty obvious what we need
[529.6s] to do so maybe we should like get back the three of you bolt off towards the city
[536.4s] we cut to the sewer with a rotting undead dragon's head between moot glim and sully
[544.4s] and thea Yenbul and talgir Yenbul turns around having just put the killing blow into the zombie
[551.3s] clot and the six adventurers are staring each other down you called also what the
[557.8s] hell was that thing that's yuck that's gross well it's like all the undead get together into
[564.0s] big one big undead ah it's like a gross zombie orgy that's exactly what i thought uh hi i'm
[571.0s] thea uh talgir Yenbul sullivan's light glim moot uh your place looks like shit yeah it's
[580.0s] really super gross in here like even grosser than it was just when it was the sewer
[585.6s] yeah that's uh undead dragon and all the zombies didn't exactly make it like top notch in here
[592.8s] anyway everyone's making for a boat we got to get the hell out of here are you guys coming
[596.7s] with uh well we're looking for Leosin uh he's on his way to the boat yeah he's back there
[601.6s] he's he's trucking to the boat okay you hear from down further into the sewer the opposite
[607.3s] way that Leosin went the sound of quacking quickly coming towards you
[614.7s] and moaning undead following fastin behind them go go go we got to get going we got to get going
[621.3s] they're all coming and i think it's i think i think they're behind them and there's a whole
[625.2s] bunch of things and just bolting past you uh moot starts to move his hands around because
[631.6s] he's going to cast some sort of spell that i'm going to look through my list and find
[634.4s] right now and then from far in the distance you hear here ducky ducky ducky coming to get you
[641.8s] and i yell back lip-synchy that's so fucked up so yeah moot's gonna wait for the the ducks
[648.6s] to go by and he like motions everyone to go and follow them
[653.6s] um
[661.5s] in the like the opening that the suit that the sewer ducks came out of yeah he walks over there
[668.3s] and he claps his hands together and a loud thunderous boom happens
[676.7s] and moot's all of a sudden in front of everyone that's running the other way as he's teleported
[685.3s] himself with thunderstep he fucking left us i thought you were gonna do some really i thought
[692.2s] he was gonna do something against himself in character well no what what happened though is
[696.8s] his thunder clap has caused the tunnel that the sewer ducks came running out of to collapse
[701.9s] in on itself okay it's like you know he wasn't just abandoning you see you later yeah right peace
[710.8s] does that asshole not know he shouldn't be doing magic how's he doing magic
[715.4s] and thea looks around her to be like what's dying uh yeah i gotta i okay i gotta i'll explain
[722.4s] later but it kind of has something to do with this and he points at his crab claw hand
[727.0s] that you can tell is oh my god magically there
[734.0s] if he should go if he should go to the boat uh yeah let's let's run let's get out of here
[738.6s] everybody tears off and follows down the passageways yeah of course get on that eventually
[744.0s] come to a further underground cavern and before you you see a what looks like a fully closed
[753.0s] ship better than a fully clothed ship that's right just got a little bikini on at the front
[760.0s] standing in the doorway is flamey kens let's get this fucker moving all right climb aboard
[764.9s] we've been waiting for you but thought we'd be we'll give up on you it's like great a
[768.1s] headhug and then i was like okay well she's probably dead now okay climb aboard glad you
[773.4s] waited for us yeah thanks flamey kens uh we are here and there are others yeah yeah no i
[779.6s] know them too get on board jesus mclem and sully which it's about time we were about you were
[785.1s] gonna have to swim your way over to mastika what were you gonna do that well i mean mastika
[789.8s] that sounds like a made-up place i mean glim's a strong swimmer and it wouldn't be the first
[793.6s] time sully's ridden her back the whole way somewhere all right well everybody sounds like
[798.0s] a shot at me damn it oh no just i mean it's just more convenient she makes really good time
[803.7s] it's hard for your little legs to keep up also it helps my training
[807.9s] it's hard to swim but have weights at the same time so you're doing me a favor all right
[813.0s] everybody except glim on board no no it's too late all right everybody's on board we're close
[819.5s] oh i'm just kidding come on oh you yeah the door slams shut and flamey kens pushes past everyone
[827.7s] it's like packed um this metal tube for lack of a better term she's pushing past everybody
[836.3s] to get to the front okay everybody you have a seat there you grab the kids there all right
[840.3s] everybody just wrangle up and hold on tight we're gonna be moving pretty fast okay and she
[845.5s] moves up to what appears to be a cockpit and starts hitting levers and pushing buttons and
[854.6s] you hear like a propulsion system start up at the back and begin to lurch forward uh flamey
[860.7s] kens is there anything that we can do yeah just make sure the kids don't fall over
[863.8s] when we go down here we got to get out into the bay and then we're just going to be going
[867.7s] down pretty quick because there's some big things in the ocean that are going to want to grab us
[871.2s] really quick and we got to get out before that horde comes because i'm sure uh big v and uh
[877.8s] little sinky whatever the names are they're going to want to get on board and come find
[882.5s] you and probably take your skins yeah that collapsed tunnel won't hold them for long guys
[887.2s] all right let's go somebody let's go everybody grab a baby i'm not touching a baby i mean i
[892.7s] i can grab a couple they're slippery and and sticky at the same time if there's a baby that needs
[897.2s] help help don't just take random babies yeah don't take random babies leo sin make sure they don't
[903.6s] take random babies uh yeah i got it i got it the submersible moves forward and you feel it
[910.6s] pitched down and then it slows for a minute and then launches off like a rocket holy shit
[917.6s] um i'm not feeling too great you guys yes i am also unvel yeah now that i've i stopped running
[930.6s] i thank you for yes but uh i've got to can you take your baby back please i've got to yeah
[938.1s] yeah sorry yes thank you oh uh flamey kens do you have a mop or anything i'm
[943.4s] um what did you do did you throw up already no i'm just getting blood all over your ship oh
[948.6s] jesus thea sorry yeah there's a mop there beside you hold on hey leo sin check the back see if
[955.8s] we grab the potions leo sin comes forward uh to each of you with stoppered vile and hands them
[962.4s] to you and says i don't know if this will take care of all of your ales but hopefully
[967.2s] it stops the bleeding at the very least thank you and i and i take the stopper off and
[971.7s] i drink it and then i go oh this is vile and then you turn yellow gotcha
[984.3s] no sorry yeah give her the other one too he hands you another one i can't believe i'm
[993.9s] not okay with this i had to work through a lot of this yellow trauma flamey kens yeah
[1000.5s] no well i thought it would be a good like welcome back joke oh you look yeah you're like
[1006.0s] a bumblebee over there that's good hi high five yeah
[1014.4s] and the next high five the next five minutes well executed high five russ and amy trying
[1020.0s] to high five oh yeah felt good all right no you just you just go to the back there it's
[1024.4s] fine we don't have to talk about this ever again yeah it's probably best we don't i take
[1029.6s] the other one like this better fucking god damn it's it's good it's good right leo's it it's
[1035.7s] good leo's and why did you give me the other one in the first place it's it felt good to laugh
[1040.7s] again oh my fine fine i drink the other one yeah i'm sorry but it was a little bit funny
[1047.6s] everybody can regain 84 plus eight whoa oh boy i'm just gonna take a swig of this and i'm
[1055.0s] gonna take a potion of superior healing oh which is that yeah i gave you a real thing
[1062.6s] you're gonna take another one yeah all right sounds good leo's and moves over to moot
[1069.2s] clem and sully it's so good to see you back did you did you find the amulet oh yeah we
[1075.6s] we found that moot you got it oh you mean this one right here so he holds it up you don't
[1082.8s] look as badass as you think you do wearing that um speaking of cool things something crazy happened
[1090.2s] you'll never believe it like if i gave you a thousand years to guess you would never
[1094.3s] guess what happened oh we should we should have him guess though because i want to see
[1097.6s] what he comes up okay something that's so important to me i think yes and like maybe
[1102.1s] it's going to change the course of my life again i think all right but i don't know i want
[1108.4s] to know what what you think what it what does it start with
[1116.5s] okay um w or b w in b warner brothers
[1126.4s] um okay well uh okay a w or or a b um and it could change your life is it is it bahamut's back
[1143.3s] i mean that was a really good guess how did you well um right my my book there was writing
[1150.0s] in my in my book with the tome of bahamut and there hasn't been writing in like
[1154.0s] like seven eight was your clue words in book so many years what writing in book writing in
[1162.8s] writing i mean that's the long way around for sure yeah yeah i mean he got it so it was
[1167.6s] obviously a good guess uh yes because bahamut's back and he turns you around
[1176.8s] and in the next room in like the they've set up a makeshift triage you see a few people
[1182.7s] lying down asleep or in comas um and in the center of these people is an older man in like torn and
[1192.6s] tattered robes eyes closed giving off this aura of light you immediately
[1204.0s] uh and i run over there wait wait but that's him i i know it's just just you know just take a
[1218.0s] moment to to breathe and to settle yourself and to remember that meeting your hero sometimes
[1223.1s] isn't all that it is uh built up to be in your in your head because your whole life you've
[1227.9s] been dedicated to this person and uh so just you know just i just don't want to see you
[1232.8s] sad if it doesn't go like the perfect way most of our life yeah but i mean he was gone and now
[1238.8s] he's back yes i'll just take a deep breath i think maybe oh my god maybe it's happening
[1245.2s] maybe maybe we're saving the world he's back it has been a long time since you've talked
[1251.4s] about that yeah i mean i kind of i kind of missed it oh i really did it was always such
[1258.8s] like a rallying cry for us whenever things were were really dark we just looked towards
[1263.7s] glam and she's always well guys we're saving the world and then oh right of course that's
[1267.5s] what we're doing and you know you your your strike gets a little longer when you remember
[1272.0s] that well it's hard to remember when the whole world gets overtaken by undead and there's no
[1278.8s] magic and your god disappears and now you're going now he's back okay well go what are you
[1285.6s] waiting for okay okay okay is he in a coma yeah okay that's what i thought like you can still
[1292.8s] fawn over oh for sure give him a little tap upside the face just a few times just to make sure
[1297.5s] it's me glam the chosen one i've missed you can i braid your hair let her have a moment
[1307.9s] so i think i'm going to kind of perch on his bedside i think i am pretty like uh i'm assuming
[1322.1s] there's not chairs beside the bedside we're not in the hospital so i'm just going to kind of
[1326.3s] scooch on there my giant body and try to calmly
[1330.7s] me kind of grab his hand pahamit i oh god i can't i can't believe it really here i gave up
[1341.8s] i gave up so long ago and i'm we tried for so long and then just kept getting worse and worse
[1349.2s] and i thought you were never coming back but now you're you're back and we can fix you and
[1357.0s] then we can fix the world and then everything's gonna be totally fine again
[1362.0s] and then looks over at her friends one missing hand one missing an eye like well maybe
[1370.8s] everything won't be exactly the same as it was before but if you're back then everything's
[1375.7s] gonna be okay right right as you moved closer to him and as you hold his hand and the longer
[1384.0s] you do you feel re-energized abilities and skills that you've long forgotten about
[1398.6s] start to flood back to you while he doesn't say anything you get
[1407.5s] for the first time in a long time an overwhelming sense of calm
[1414.0s] and peace
[1418.4s] it's just it's so good to have you back
[1424.4s] now we just got to get you woken up we cut ahead several hours the uh your you tell
[1434.3s] me what the is doing is flint on the ship yeah flint flint is in that kind of triage
[1440.8s] setup yeah uh i think she's probably sitting with him resting uh recanting the story of
[1451.4s] the shit that just went down and then at a nowhere uh this dragonborn and this halfling
[1460.1s] and this like half orc just like essentially like i don't know come out of the sky they
[1465.9s] chopped this dragon's head off right and now they're here with us and we're all
[1473.9s] relying on Flamikinskins if you can believe it to get us all to this island of
[1481.1s] mastodonia masturbation tika mastika so could be the last remaining place that isn't completely
[1493.0s] fucked up maybe you'll you'll wake up there that'd be uh that'd be really cool if the uh
[1500.9s] if he was flint was back right now like i'm sure he would have chopped off the dragon's
[1505.8s] head before before those other for those other folks got there who are you i'm don e
[1513.2s] i am a dragon who sits in your bag eating your crackers it wasn't quite it wasn't quite
[1519.7s] enough for me i've been with you for the last how many years solemn moment it wasn't uh yeah sorry
[1528.9s] oh he would have had that dragon handled yeah yeah totally is it offensive to you when we
[1534.9s] slay dragons uh no because i mean there's good dragons and there's bad dragons and the bad
[1541.7s] dragons are you know uh undead right now so that's pretty cool and i mean they called
[1547.3s] you the decimators of dragons but really you'd never killed a dragon until Tiamat
[1555.1s] right yeah but we don't like more of them have almost killed you you should be called the
[1560.8s] decimated by dragons wow a little salty in there donnie well i mean i'm just calling it
[1567.0s] like i see it you know they wrote the history books one way but i was there you want a
[1571.7s] cracker yeah it's like a cracker here's a cracker he takes a cracker and then the entire
[1578.9s] vessel you're in begins to vibrate like a big impact just hit it to the side hold on to your
[1585.3s] butts we're gonna need some people to go outside in the water yeah in the water that's what's
[1590.3s] outside get to the back leo sano hook you up uh you want to go swimming donnie uh no i'll
[1597.1s] check on flint here make sure he doesn't roll over in his stupor coma and hurt himself more
[1605.0s] okay i'm just gonna prop myself right under his side here see he was kind of leaning to this
[1609.7s] side so now i'm like a stopper okay uh you can leave the crackers though because those will get
[1614.3s] wet outside yeah they will okay stay safe buddy who heads to the back uh i do i think
[1621.8s] moot does glen was just bragging about how good she was at swimming so she better go
[1626.1s] sully can't swim um and i think yen bull goes to yeah i'd assume tell your uh grabs his axe
[1635.2s] and goes for him bull tug your moot guys i just had a total moment i'm looking for i've got
[1642.2s] something to do with water breathing underwater alter self something that allows me to do
[1648.0s] something in water and i look and i'm like water skin like
[1654.9s] like a wetsuit and then it says adventuring gear and then hold water and then and then it
[1661.8s] said to drink water from yeah so that's where i'm at because it was like container and i was
[1668.6s] like container like to contain my body like a scoop i don't understand like a mini submarine
[1676.1s] i'm not sure all right let's have so that's where i'm at let's have just little quick scenes
[1680.9s] of each of the three okay solly i please can you watch over bahamut yeah okay yeah i can do
[1688.9s] that i will watch this old guy like well like he's your most important person i mean yeah now
[1696.4s] that we have him in our sights uh i'll hold his hand don't let him out oh he's got that
[1701.2s] soft old person skin that's nice it's nice it's a little crepey this guy feels kind of
[1708.1s] nice yeah solly's rubbing his the back of of bahamut's hand against his face against his
[1713.6s] cheek well i mean look after don't be don't make it weird okay um i'll see you soon
[1722.1s] thea stands up from flint's side leaving donnie behind turns and sees tolgir and
[1728.8s] we all going out to the water what else would we do fair yeah that's where they need us that's
[1736.1s] where we're gonna be if i were to cast a spell do you think i that would like hurt bahamut
[1742.4s] maybe i don't know glim walks by at exactly that moment uh hey you know a lot about this guy
[1750.3s] bahamut yes he's like the coolest guy ever he's back i can't believe it okay i have a
[1755.6s] question for you okay if i were to cast a tiny spell to give myself the ability to breathe
[1764.4s] underwater would that hurt him okay um i don't know if you do anything that will hurt him
[1773.6s] i'm gonna have to hurt you whoa but before we get to that maybe let's just like find out
[1779.5s] what they want us to do and what leo's me maybe just before we start casting magic and
[1786.9s] killing my god that just came back from who knows where for years he's finally just right
[1792.0s] over there i know i know glim yeah yeah let's let's just maybe we could just i'm one of
[1796.3s] the ones who busted him out actually i i got him out um got a real got a real sweet sour
[1805.1s] thing going on here i'm not looking to hurt your god very important i understand thank you
[1810.6s] for whatever you did to find him let me start there let's just maybe
[1814.6s] at least let's just flamey kens can explain what the plan is are we swimming are we
[1820.9s] let's just let's just go okay yeah and i i apologize i mean if you hurt him listen i i
[1826.9s] heard you the first time but i get it okay she's allowed to crunch around the vessel
[1831.2s] as she's like aren't you all back there yet if we all die in here because i'm not able to cast
[1835.5s] a spell your god's not gonna be much help anyway i don't do it i don't know the answer
[1843.3s] i feel super awkward right now that we had that interaction girl
[1848.0s] our characters are always best friends i loved it it's just like oh my god you know
[1853.5s] i didn't like it oh this bitch up in here wants to fucking cast magic this bitch threatening
[1860.0s] at the fountain of fucking magic on board and she's like let me just pull it
[1863.4s] yeah just see everybody rushes to the back here as we leave in on flint and fade into a dream
[1872.8s] sequence
[1882.9s] well i don't know why i came here tonight i got a feeling it's something right i'm so scared i
[1892.8s] think i'll fall off my chair and i'm wondering how i'll get down the stairs
[1900.0s] clowns to the left of me jokers to the right here i am stuck in the middle with you
[1907.2s] i didn't start any any later in that song i just wanted i'd like that song yeah hey we're
[1913.4s] in the middle now and we're talking about it's the middle how this is season two episode 100
[1920.8s] give us that horn tom
[1925.0s] dave's back baby for the hundredth episode for the hundred episode dave's not actually
[1930.3s] dave's not back dave no dave's not here he's not here man yep um but yeah what holy geez
[1936.0s] holy geez hey holy geez is pretty accurate we're just gonna sit and revel in it just sit with
[1942.7s] us of this season season yeah we didn't make it to a centennial last season i don't think we
[1948.8s] were committed enough yeah that was yeah that's right it was too straightforward with a through
[1955.9s] start middle and end yeah i blame those first a bunch of episodes that were all like two hours
[1962.2s] up on yeah oh yeah we would have been over easy totally yeah one but yeah before we figured out
[1967.6s] so that was like 30 we easily would have done 110 150 yeah there we go so really we
[1973.6s] did it just condensed it yep you got it um but what what what else we're very excited about
[1979.5s] is over on Patreon Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast and we know that we've been talking about
[1983.6s] it a lot but we've got this super exciting thing where you can save two months free
[1989.0s] on an annual membership new and upgrading members over at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast uh
[1994.6s] also some other really great things going on over there like a new thing like a new thing
[1998.8s] i was yeah we're starting a new we're starting a new thing we are where we read a book
[2003.9s] and maybe you read it too and then we get together and talk about it you're talking
[2007.3s] like a book club carla dumpster's book so it's like a club but like the main thing we do
[2013.6s] is like read a book and then talk about it so yeah i mean i guess you could call it like
[2017.9s] a book club well i like that let's say what we like read a book and then like i don't
[2026.6s] know every few months have a zoom call where our patrons can come and join us and like chat about
[2032.6s] the book yeah yeah exactly and like low pressure i think we'll probably do it like four times a
[2039.2s] year so let's say like quarterly generally so it gives you a lot of time to read the book
[2045.0s] it's not homework it's fun no it's fun we'll talk about it as much as we do love to give
[2049.3s] homework this isn't homework if you've ever been to one of our gook hangs you know that
[2054.0s] to be a fact tom carla and i just really like to read and we want to read with you
[2060.0s] exactly amy's gonna pick the first book i've already picked it oh here it is give me that
[2064.8s] air horn again i was a little lackluster tom i'm not gonna lie there you make you
[2073.2s] amp it up okay the book we're gonna be reading is realm breaker by victoria aviard so if you
[2081.6s] want to read along with us what like we're gonna get going on this right away and that means
[2086.3s] let me do some math november december january so like february no we're in the beginning of
[2095.6s] october we're in october yeah so like january new year january yeah yeah we'll start a
[2103.0s] discord channel on our discord and we'll have details and everything there but yeah it'd be
[2107.6s] so fun if you read the book and wanted to come talk about it with us because we're
[2112.5s] nerds right grab your popcorn grab your wine let's talk about rum breaker too exactly this is very
[2118.0s] exciting um russ this is so exciting this no it legitimately is very exciting but what what uh
[2125.8s] amy tom and carla have kind of alluded to is that this is open to all patrons any tier
[2131.1s] so come join us anywhere if this is something that interests you you like reading books you
[2136.0s] like hanging out with friends we want to do that with you and we're doing it over in the
[2140.6s] discord i might just come hang out and you know just kind of watch and see what goes on in a
[2144.4s] book club you can also be in the book club just all that like bookish knowledge get that
[2149.8s] knowledge and i could just toss in i'll read five pages uh of the books that are there so
[2157.2s] that i have some base knowledge of like random characters not even like real like the main
[2163.4s] character but just like the random character they met but on page 271 yeah they say this
[2170.7s] discuss won't read five pages in a row he will take random pages six eight hundred uh 30
[2178.8s] this book is not 800 pages there's not gonna be 800 pages in the book it is not 800 pages no
[2184.0s] it's no it's really not um long story short Patreon.com dumb dragon cast we've got a
[2189.0s] book club going on air horn tom it's just one long air horn no it's good it's running out of
[2196.7s] steam on that one it's good yep um Patreon.com dumb dragon cast two months free book club it's
[2202.3s] happening it's where it's at we'd love to see you over there and if you're already a patron
[2207.2s] you could be part of the book club too so look for the details in our discord and on
[2210.6s] Patreon okay bye you don't know why you listened to Scyther when he said that the trip down the
[2224.8s] river would be the easiest way to escape Papa Zoodle's wrath because it really hasn't
[2231.5s] worked out very well you've been trying your best to speed down the river but it turns
[2239.7s] out this bird is quite vengeful and he's able to really take some uh some running starts at you
[2247.5s] dive bombing you as you float down the river water Scyther what ah geez the fish are jumping
[2254.8s] up i can't even keep my mouth open the birds coming from above wouldn't it be better to stay
[2259.0s] in the canopy i mean i don't know i thought the river was a good way to do it we'll just
[2262.5s] keep paddling and we'll get away from him i swear just keep swimming just keep paddling
[2266.2s] god just keep paddling all right yeah uh he continues to paddle do you want to just to
[2271.7s] roll anything for this or uh yeah roll let's do like dex let's do a dex roll because i have a
[2279.1s] board character sheet uh obviously uh he's a ranger i mean he's a ranger who specializes in
[2286.3s] ranged attacks so i would assume his dexterity is reasonably high level so i mean 15 on the
[2291.9s] so probably at least a plus four so we'll say 19 yeah so you manage to uh increase your
[2299.1s] paddling speed and like go a little bit off course because you see papa's little coming
[2305.2s] and he's kind of locked into a dive headed towards the canoe and you're able to kind of
[2310.2s] shift course enough that he's he misses you and he swoops back up and cries out
[2316.8s] because he's just done with your bullshit look sider you gotta way out of here i don't think
[2321.2s] we're gonna be able to keep dodging here i'm gonna take i'm gonna take a shot at him if
[2324.8s] you don't have anything better going on i mean i think maybe take a shot at him that's a good
[2328.5s] idea maybe you can slow him up a little bit um okay well i mean we either we either veer off
[2333.6s] to the side where i mean as you can see there's not exactly a lot of tree cover
[2337.4s] we're kind of going to be sitting ducks in that one but not much worse than we are right
[2341.4s] now uh what okay up ahead um you see there's there's like some some some mist and some spray
[2348.6s] up yeah that looks promising yeah that's um well that's the twin falls twin falls two of them
[2355.4s] is it's the twin falls i think um i think they're going to be our best bet to to
[2360.6s] to get rid of this guy how much did i pay you for this i mean we were going to discuss
[2365.6s] price after we were done but needless to say it's uh oh the price is going up all right
[2370.6s] buckle up buttercup i'm gonna take one of these special arrows i may have stolen from him and
[2375.7s] fire it at him call it a pretty decent bonus that's gonna be a 23 uh you managed to you
[2383.2s] don't put it through his wing but you manage to like clip a few feathers and he kind of
[2389.3s] pulls up out of the out of the beginning of a dive that he had started and kind of circles
[2395.7s] back up and like has this real mean look on his face as he's gonna try another attack oh
[2402.2s] shit all right let's paddle buddy i mean we're almost to the falls just like we're gonna get
[2407.8s] there in a second i'm gonna roll a d20 here to see if sider's able to help you out in any way
[2415.0s] shape or form okay uh not great but he he throws up a minor illusion
[2425.4s] and it's it's of a of a net going upwards towards papa zotal from his hands like he's
[2433.0s] got some sort of t-shirt cannon and you see papa zotal kind of flinch as this thing is
[2440.4s] coming towards him uh there's one thing that that papa zotal can't stand and that's
[2446.0s] being subservient to anyone i mean the the inscription in chult in omu for papa zotal is
[2453.1s] papa zotal teaches us to bow before no one this is the last thing in the world papa zotal
[2459.1s] wants is to be trapped under a net and he kind of flinches and as the net gets closer to
[2464.5s] him he kind of shakes his head and realizes that it was an illusion all along and he lets out this
[2471.2s] like furious war cry and he's trying to gain speed to get one last shot at you guys before
[2477.8s] you tip over the falls roll me a d4 russ all right a d4 a two you're over the cliff you're
[2488.4s] over the waterfall you're free falling over the twin falls hold on to your butt sire
[2494.6s] and as you hit the water you hit the water in more ways than one
[2502.8s] as you're soaked with water and you open your eyes and you're in a jail cell
[2510.8s] oh sire what do you get what do we rise and shine what what where's where's sire
[2522.3s] look i don't know who that is but you've been here for two days we got to get you
[2527.9s] right okay look there's there's the small matter of the fine that you owe
[2532.7s] sure yeah no i he reaches down to his pockets and say i don't i don't where's my
[2538.7s] back where's my bag i don't know you didn't have a bag when he came in oh shit
[2545.3s] okay maybe someone took it in lost and found style maybe yeah what's it look like
[2553.5s] it's got this uh brown leather here it's got kind of like a engraving of of a dragon across
[2561.1s] it uh it's a little worn was wet last time i saw it soaked down a river yeah i don't uh i don't
[2571.3s] remember anything like that being upstairs but uh i'll look for in a minute is this are we in
[2576.4s] chult no friend we are so far away from chult it's kind of just dumbfounded as he as he
[2585.2s] stands tries to brush himself off but he's just soaked
[2592.5s] i mean i didn't throw that much water on you how'd you get so wet
[2596.1s] uh i don't know i was in a in a river and
[2603.5s] then i was here are you some kind of like dreamwalker
[2608.4s] yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
[2613.7s] yambol tolgear moot thea and glim that's everybody who said they were going to go
[2618.0s] sully's behind so he's the only one who stayed behind um he's got a creep on bomb
[2622.7s] he's not being creepy he likes old people not in a weird way every once in a while we'll just
[2627.5s] do a cut scene of him telling him a story so just have a story ready that we can continue
[2632.0s] at various parts of it okay okay you've made it to the back and Leosin's given you like
[2638.4s] these glass vessels that adhere over your head and it's through what seems like magic
[2645.1s] adhere themselves to your neck and you go down into this this hold area
[2653.2s] and he's looking down at you and says i'm going to close this and you're going to
[2659.5s] turn that valve and it's going to flood with water well and then what
[2667.4s] and then you're going to open the hatch below you will be able to breathe because of the
[2673.3s] vessel on your head for how long 30 minutes oh i've given you each an amulet of speed it
[2680.9s] will allow you to move with efficiency and take care of whatever is attached itself aquaman
[2687.4s] style swim speed is generally half so it'll give you full speed um so you won't be
[2692.4s] hindered in that way were we able to ask Leosin vis-a-vis casting spells uh we can do that
[2698.6s] quickly he's about to close the hatch hey if i were to cast a spell would i kill bahamut
[2703.3s] it probably wouldn't be good okay and he closes the hatch and you don't do that bye
[2710.0s] if you could know what that'd be great uh who opens the valve uh mood does
[2714.2s] move you turn the valve and try with your crab claw first and can't quite gain purchase
[2719.5s] yeah i can't quite figure it out like properly but then i get the other one involved and
[2724.4s] no problem between the two of them you're able to rattle that thing open
[2727.6s] oh yeah as you do water begins to fill up from the bottom there's a moment there where
[2733.6s] everybody's kind of looking around before it completely covers you this is weird yeah i hate
[2741.2s] this i have to pee well you probably can once we're out of here oh yeah no not in here
[2748.8s] don't be weird don't pee in here but once we're outside just be fish pee in the in the ocean
[2755.5s] one of you reaches down and opens the hatch and you all begin to file out and as you do you
[2761.0s] see this huge decaying tentacle wrapped around the vessel crushing it beneath its
[2771.6s] hefty weight you back away from the the ship that has slowed its speed
[2778.0s] so that you can keep up with it and so that it doesn't take on extra stress and you see
[2783.4s] an undead kraken that continues to crush the ship as it turns and looks at you
[2788.0s] and lets out this screech towards you release the ship
[2792.1s] Dumbgeons and Dragons Season 2 Episode 100 Starring Amy More as Thea Amastasia and Sullivan
[2805.2s] Sleight Carla Maxted as Yimbel Nuri and Glim Tom Laird as Tulkier Heavyfoot Flint Firebeard
[2811.5s] and Moot and Russ More as your Dungeon Master Editing Production and Sound Design by Russ More
[2817.2s] This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound and sound effects from Epidemic Sound
[2821.5s] Boom Library and Sound Ideas. A huge thank you to our supporting producers, Gabriel Lynch,
[2826.8s] Jessica Babyok, Kat Waterflame, Stevie, Jacob Madden, Devin Michaels, Christian Brown,
[2832.0s] Aaron Stevens, Lou Lehan and Charlie Warley. To support Dumbgeons and Dragons and our many
[2836.7s] other productions and get access to an exclusive podcast called The Adventures Of,
[2840.7s] bonus episodes and much more please join our Patreon at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[2846.8s] You can also follow us at facebook.com slash dumb dragon podcast and on Instagram and Twitter
[2852.2s] at dumb dragon cast. Thank you for listening. Have a great week. We'll talk again soon.
[2859.8s] It's best to scream after the dog falls asleep. Oh guys, you think we know
[2869.0s] this is the time for an accent change, right? A lot has happened.
[2875.9s] If the words are I'm back, baby, I'll lose my mind. Eat shit, Orcus.
[2887.2s] OK, you're on thin ice. I thought you were making the ducks be undead.
[2898.3s] But they can be chased by undead. That's absolutely 100 percent.
[2902.0s] Hold on. You're not near me, though. Well, I'm in front of you.
[2906.5s] Yeah, he just went to the other side of everybody. I thought you went to like
[2910.9s] the boat. The boat. Yeah, that's what I thought, too.
[2914.8s] No, I just jumped in front of you guys. That was all.
[2919.0s] We're going to figure this all out together, everybody.
[2923.5s] Everything's fine. Yeah. Dumbgeons and Dragons is a dumb dragons production.